If this is a dream, never wake me up
by Jantoinette
Summary: John and Sherlock's separate views on their reunion. Every one has John's views but I wanted to have Sherlock's too. Sherlock might seem a little OOC, but thats how I feel Sherlock is. First attempt at writing anything really. Hopefully you wear your special glasses and see Johnlock. Feel free to review!
1. Chapter 1

Reunion: John's POV

John sits in his chair and opens his laptop as a man with dark brown hair sleeps on the couch. He opens his blog. It had only been a couple of months since he has been on, yet it feels like years since he has blogged at all. Even longer since he has blogged about a case. In the few months prior to the fall he caught himself reading the things he has written about cases trying to remember. He desperately needed to live in the past. But this the present and he needed to get back to reality.

He opens a document as he remembers that day. He tries not to remember the pain but as he has found out, that comes with the memory. The fall. The painful image that plays its self in his head just about every time he closes his eyes, whether he likes it or not. Then again he would like to forget it ever happened. He always had hope somewhere in the back of his mind that Sherlock would really be alive. He spent hours thinking of what he would say to him. Now, with the dark haired man sleeping in front of him; he doesn't know what to say. The realistic part of his brain never thought this day would come. The only question running through his mind is "why?". Why would Sherlock ever want to hurt him like this?

John had returned from a meeting with Greg, of course he was the only one to call him by his first name, to find Sherlock, actual living Sherlock, asleep on the couch. John had thought about yelling, screaming, throwing punches; but he couldn't bring himself to wake him. He covers him with a blanket before sitting down. He's sure that he will punch him when he wakes up, he'd just rather sit and enjoy him being there before he completely loses it.

John stays up for a while trying to figure out what to say to his, now alive, bestfriend before finally closing his laptop and going to bed. Not sure if this is all a dream or if he'll find Sherlock still asleep in the morning. The last thought in his mind before he falls asleep: If this is a dream, I hope I never wake up.


	2. Chapter 2

Reunion: Sherlock's POV

Sherlock has been standing outside of apartment 221B for hours. He knows it has been hours, since he has checked the time every few minutes. Every minute that passes he has told himself he would walk in. He would explain himself to John and be back to solving cases in the morning. But he knew better. He knew it could never be that easy.

He finally gets the courage to unlock the door. He expects Miss Hudson to cry and hug him for longer than what's comfortable. In all honesty, he wants her to. But she isn't there. He walks up the steps not knowing what he will say to John. He doesn't even know if John will ever forgive him. But can he blame him? He should forgive him. He did it to protect him. He would give his life to save him. And for all John knows, that's what he did.

He searches the flat but no one is home. He goes into his room. Everything is there. Untouched. It's like that part of the world just stopped spinning. Yet, the bed is unmade. John or Miss Hudson has slept there .

Sherlock sits on the couch. He wonders what John has been doing since that day. Of course he has been watching him but he had to stop that a few months after the fall.

The fall. He hates that he had to do that to John. He could hear the pleading in John's voice on the phone. What he would give to never hear John's voice like that ever again. Yet, those words and that voice ring in his ears every second of everyday. Finally it got to much for him to handle and he knew he had to come back. That's how he ended up on the couch.

Sherlock awoke to hear typing on a keyboard. He wondered if it was John. It had to be John. Why didn't he wake him? He felt a little thankful that he didn't, he didn't know if he was really ready to face him yet. He now has a blanket. Same old John. Sherlock wondered what he was thinking; what he was typing. He thought about letting John know he was awake. Making a coughing sound or moving around, maybe even just coming out and saying hello. He decided against it. He wanted to savor every second of this moment. The peaceful nights he has come to love. Sherlock slowly falls back to sleep realizing how much happier he is now that he is home. With John.


	3. Chapter 3

The next day:

John couldn't have been more nervous as he woke up that following morning. Was this all a dream? Is Sherlock really here with him again? As he sat up and rubbed the sleep from eyes the answer was clear. All that rang on his ears was violin music. That same violin music he hasn't heard in forever. All of the sudden he is mad. Raging, even. He doesn't understand. Any normal person would be ecstatic and would run in hugging the tall man with dark brown hair. But he doesn't feel that way. He's never felt angrier.

He ran, no bolted from his bed, down the stairs and into the study. He just stood there with his fist clenched at his sides, waiting for Sherlock to speak.

Sherlock stopped playing. He sensed johns presence in the room, without turning around he smiled " Good morning John, sleep well?"

John stood there with a puzzled look on his face not really sure how to answer. He has never been asked a question like that from Sherlock.

John remained quiet and Sherlock decided that it was his turn to talk. Turning around he set his violin down on the table between the two large windows and focused all his attention on John. He could tell by the way John was standing and the way his foot tapped that he was beyond ferrous. "John, I'm... I'm sorry, but I had to."

"No."

"It was either me or you, John. He was going to kill you and Lestrade and Miss Hudson if I didn't. I couldn't live with myself if I was the reason you died". He said that last line softer than the rest of his words and John noticed it too. He didn't know why but it made him feel a little better. He still needed to get to the bottom of why he would do something like that to him. Why didn't he let him in on his plan to come back to life? He needed to know why he felt it was even a good choice to come back.


End file.
